I had made the biggest mistake in my life when I looked for love in all the wrong places. Unfortunately, for many of us, this often happens because we don’t love ourselves first, which results in a low opinion of ourselves.
Dear reader, ‘Love yourself first’ is a phrase that we’ve heard so many times – to the point where we develop a contorted view of it, therefore losing its meaning. I want you to be happy and find true love if that’s what you’re looking for. To do that, you must raise your opinion by learning to love yourself above anyone or anything else truly.
Where I grew up, there was an expectation that if one was proud of one’s achievements and you shared your success with others, you were deemed as being they are ‘full of yourself’. Therefore, loving yourself was not praiseworthy but having a low opinion and not appreciating yourself self-kept the status quo of those around me, which is famously called the tall poppy syndrome.
The tall poppy syndrome is used to describe those who deliberately put down another for their success and achievements. Cutting down the tall poppy, is a cultural phenomenon which describes a draw towards mediocrity and conformity commonly known in Australia and New Zealand. The syndrome is about why people hold back, criticise, or sabotage those who have or are believed to have achieved notable success in one or more aspects of life, particularly intellectual or cultural wealth, so they cut down the tall poppy.
5 TIPS TO WHY YOU SHOULD LOVE YOURSELF
Fortunately, these five tips about loving yourself first show us the importance of giving ourselves the same type of love we search so hard to find.
1. Western culture places a lot of value on material things. But, as you learn to love yourself, you will conclude that you’re priceless. No material thing- Nothing is of equal value to YOU. So, this tip gives yourself the ‘why’ you should love yourself when you have your ‘why,’ it motivates forwarding to discover your authentic self and love you anyway.
2. Awaiting or anticipating the approval of others will bring you down to an all-time low. This tip is to rid yourself of the opinion and judgments of others. You cannot control what others may or may not think of you, but you can control what you think of yourself!
Be set free from the idea that you ‘must’ have someone to love you to find worth. When you love yourself and find your worth in that, -you are free!
After you’ve learned to do that, you’ll find yourself feeling a whole lot happier, and then love and happiness is sure to follow. So why not beam with love and gratitude and soak up all the positivity that comes your way, then share it with others.
3. When you find yourself having a bad day, don’t be easily swayed. We all have bad days, so don’t get stuck there. Instead, believe that tomorrow will be better – believe that- because you are in control, and you can make it better!
The love you have given yourself will energise you and encourage you when you need it the most. The best part about this is that you won’t find yourself seeking out the love – or affirmation from others – you will find that ‘you are enough.
4. So, you had a couple of bad dates, someone bullied you, and another made you cry, and you are unsure how to bounce back. You can turn this around when you believe that with rejection comes resilience.
You won’t look at rejection as your ruin when you begin to love yourself. Instead, you’ll see each incident like this as an opportunity to grow and learn more about yourself and others.
5. This last tip is about becoming aware of your healing process. Come to terms with the fact that you will get hurt in life, but that doesn’t mean the pain has to last forever. Forgive so you can heal.
Acknowledge and accept your negative emotions and then let them go so that you can move forward and thoroughly enjoy living in the present and look forward in hope.
Paula Rose has a Bachelor of Pastoral Counselling and Theology, Vision Christian University, USA. Master of Arts In Counselling & Professional Development, specializing in Spiritual Abuse The University of Derby, UK. BACP Life Coaching Course, Bristol, UK A life member of (ISFP) The International Society of Female Professionals.
Paula is an Ordained Minister, Blogger, Podcaster, Course Creator, Published Author and has a Master of Arts in Counselling and many other qualifications and a lifetime so, I have heaps to share with you.
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