Personal Development and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: Be in the driving seat of your life

In my previous blog article- HERE– I introduced the subject of neurolinguistic programming. In this article, we’re going to look at it a little bit deeper to understand how it works with cognitive behavioural therapy. Now I am not saying that you need to go to a therapist, but in fact, if you learn to apply the principles of NLP and CBT you will enhance your own life in absolutely amazing ways without a therapist.

Defining Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

CBT is denoted as a mental process like thinking. The word cognitive refers to everything that goes into your mind consciously or unconsciously. For example, your dreams, memories images and thoughts and intentions are a cognitive process.

The word ‘behaviour’ refers to everything you do, including what you say and what you do. I have a Master’s degree in counselling and I studied CBT at length and found it not only useful for my clients but to enhance my personal life as well. CBT is a tried and tested philosophical method developed through numerous scientific studies over the past 30 years in particular.

Cognitive behavioural therapy teaches and encourages you to treat your thoughts as theories and hunches about reality, that must be tested rather than accepted immediately as facts. This gives you huge control over your thoughts and when you have control over your thoughts you have control over your behaviours.

CBT recognises that people hold values and beliefs about themselves the world and other people, so one of the main aims is to help people to develop flexible non-extreme help self-help beliefs about themselves and adapt them to pursue their goals.

Consciously and unconsciously you are influenced by what is going on around you and your environment, and this affects you either negatively or positively.


CBT recognises that you can change your reactions to your environment by adjusting the way you feel think and act. CBT believes that you are in the driving seat of your life,
and not the circumstances or the environment that invades it. Through CBT you can change unhealthy ways of thinking and behaving even if you can’t change your environment.

Changing the way you think and feel can happen by modifying the way you behave. Without CBT people held the belief that you cannot help the way you behave because of your thinking and feelings. CBT turns this on its head by advocating that if you change the way you behave, patterns are created in your brain enabling you to better control your thinking and feelings. I think of it like this, it’s like ‘fake it until you make it’. Behave in such a way that depicts the results that you desire, then your feelings and thus thinking will be able to be aligned with your desires.

For example, if you have a problem with worry, then instead of pacing the floor, sitting on the couch and consuming a whole lot of junk food or shouting and screaming because of the deep worry you’re feeling. You can change those behaviours, so, instead of pacing up and down, actually engage in an activity that calms you and generates peace of mind. Instead of reaching for that tub of ice cream and stretching out on that comfortable couch for the afternoon, engage in activities that are purposeful, useful and enjoyable to you. Instead of shouting and screaming and biting someone’s head off because of the deep worry you feel, change your tone lower your voice and put a smile on your face and address everyone with kindness and respect. So therefore if you adopt this model, your behaviours will change. You will begin to feel calmer and more peaceful, and because you feel calmer, you will experience peaceful thoughts and be more clear-minded.

You Are in Control of You

CBT gives you the tools to develop a focused approach and aims to help you move from defined emotional and behavioural problems towards your goals and how you would like to feel and behave. CBT does not allow us to blame other people for our behaviours but shifts the responsibility to ourselves. No longer do we have pity parties and blame the first person that comes alone or the circumstances, but we take responsibility and make the changes in our lives progressively, deliberately, with intention.

So no longer are we out of control, but very much in control and able to turn a difficult situation into something that is of positive advantage.

In my next blog article, I will be sharing a little bit more about self-development and cognitive behavioural therapy giving you a more purposeful, meaningful, and happy life.

Published by Paula Rose Parish - The Hope. Faith. Love & Your Wellness Matters Community

We are a community that is dedicated to the Faith Lifestyle, Health, and Wellbeing. Come join me, as I explore Lifestyle Wellness of Mind, Body & Soul for women particularly. I share Great Tips for Wellbeing to stay healthy and for everyday living. Today, WELLNESS is used not only in terms of health and fitness but also wellness of Mind, Body, and Spirit. I believe that the only true wellness must include the whole person. Check out the menu bar on both sites, and Click the Follow button on the bottom right, and also subscribe to my monthly newsletterūüíó

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