Feeling the need to be in control is a natural human emotion. We all inherently need control over our lives, and we feel safe when we know what is going on.
However, it’s essential to realize that we can never control absolutely everything in our life. Trying to do so will lead to many negative emotions. When things don’t go exactly the way we want them to go, we try to force them, leaving us with a sense of helplessness.
There are many ways to increase your happiness in life, but one of the most simple and tangible ones is letting go of control. So why should we do that, and how do we even begin?
The Need to Control
The desire to be able to control our surroundings and circumstances is ingrained into our consciousness. The more we know about our world, the safer we feel. On the other hand, the less we know, the more scared we feel. The need to control is directly rooted in fear—the fear and uncertainty of what might happen outside our control.
Forcing Control Ruins Your Life.
It may be natural to want to control everything, but that doesn’t make it healthy. There are many ways to control everything that could backfire in the long run. Let’s take a look at some.
Increased Stress And Anxiety.
People who try to control everything may experience more stress and anxiety than those who don’t. The simple act of feeling out of control when it feels necessary to have it can make a person’s blood pressure rise.
It is more devastating when things don’t go according to plan for people who feel the need to control than for those who feel less need to be in control.
Feeling the need to be in control and not having it can make us feel dissatisfied. Feeling a need to control is not a pleasant feeling. People for whom control is a priority are quite unhappy compared to others who can let go.
Because there is no way to control everything in life, caring too much about how things outside your control can lead to increased criticism about everything that happens. When you can’t control the outcomes, you want to become upset, putting happiness out of reach.
The problem is that being more critical can make us more neurotic, creating an eternal downward cycle in which we become progressively unhappier with our lives. Criticism of others can also be damaging for people who deal with depression and anxiety, leading them to criticize themselves and deepening the sense of helplessness.