Feeling the need to be in control – PART 2
HOW TO GIVE UP Control
In Part One, I shared how you know how badly they need control to impact our lives. So, it should be no surprise that there is much to gain from giving it up. Giving up the need for control is often referred to as surrendering. But, unless you are a person of faith- the idea of surrendering is an enigma to us.
One example of that is Michael Singer’s book “The Surrender Experiment. Singer describes how his life improved when he stopped trying to control everything. Here are some of the benefits of giving up the need to feel control over everything.
Increased Peace and Relaxation
utilizing the practice of surrender results in increased peace and relaxation. Trying to control everything causes stress and anxiety, as peace and relaxation are opposites, so enrol in my Mindfulness for beginners’ course, which will help you step by step through surrendering your stress and worry. This practise will help you let go of the claws of control in your life- making you a happier person.
The Beauty of Letting Go.
When you let go, you’ll be in a better place to handle whatever comes your way. People who have given up control and surrendered when taken by surprise.
Control is about attachment. By having less attachment, you can go with the flow. This means that however life plays out, you’ll be okay, rather than hinging your perception of OK-ness on specific results that may be beyond your control.
Free to Love
Since trying to control everything makes you more critical of yourself and other people, giving up control enables you to connect with others on deeper levels. You aren’t tying your love and acceptance for yourself and others to specific outcomes. Link you vid here
By simply letting people be how they are and allowing yourself to not be attached to how you want every situation to turn out, you can love more freely. This applies both to loving others and yourself. Link you tube video here
How to Let Go Of Control
Suppose you’ve decided you’d rather be at peace and well connected to others than stressed and critical. In that case, you’re probably interested in learning about how exactly you can go about giving up the need for control. The below tips will help you get started on this relaxing path, but there are many other ways you can accomplish it, too.
Anything you can do that helps you feel better with not being in control is brilliant. It can be large or small, practised often or only in moments of need. I encourage you to try one of the following to guide you on this new journey.
Accept What You Can and Can’t Control.
There’s no way to give up control until you know where in life it’s needed. Take stock of what you have happening. Carefully think through the areas of life that are in your control and those that aren’t.
Once you’ve recognised each category, you’ll be in a better position to make the right moves. This includes disconnecting yourself from the results and treating others differently when they don’t behave as you want.
Mindfulness is all about being present. Being in the moment and appreciating everything good as it happens can help you accomplish the feeling of surrender. It enables you to regulate your emotions, which is especially helpful if you struggle with feeling the need for control. It also reduces stress, which increases the need for control. Check out my Mindfulness Course to help you to let go – here.
Writing down your feelings can be a significant relief for your stress levels.
When you journal, you may be able to think through things deeper than if you just think about them. For people who feel the need to be in control, journaling can help you work through potential outcomes and give you an outlet for those feelings without enabling them to amplify and grow.
Get Support From Loved Ones
Lastly, if it’s at all possible, don’t go through this process alone! You may at least have one loved one who also tries to control everything about life. You can reach out to them and let them know you’re on a mission to surrender and give up control. Ask them to join you, then meet or talk with them regularly about how the process is going.
If someone in your life already has given up control and experienced the peace that comes with it, lean on them for support.
Finally, research online and in books for tips, share your experience (start a YouTube channel or blog) and learn from what they’ve accomplished.
The need for control is natural, but it can also make your life miserable and difficult.
I hope these tips put you on your way to a happier life -let me know!